The Good, The Bad, The Misadventures of the Voidlings
by deathbringer333
Summary: In a world stricken by wars fill with demon hamsters and depressed trees, there exists a plain of existence inhabited by your worst fears- who turn out to be a crazy happy going bunch of misfits - follow the Voidlings as they do anything and everything imaginable in a crazy quest for acceptance and like food products... tasty food products like talking bread(*not*limited cursing)
1. Chapter 1

The Good, The Bad, The Misadventures of the Voidlings

by Hunter Ryan aka deathbringer333

Hello readers, this is Hunter here :D I present you all a pilot for a series I will be starting heavily influenced by some stories and deviantart I have found around, I take no claim for the characters unless I say ahead of time they are a personal OC, Riot games owns the champs, a few artists own some plot ideas along with writers (like HoneyBadgerDC: who I got the diana spa idea that will be featured later in the story) if you all would like it I can try to get the links to some of the ideas I have incorporated, this story is here for me to work on my writing skills and maybe make you all laugh :3

without further ado

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One late fall morning in the cafeteria of the IOW a precarious voidling was running a muck; normally known as "The Mouth of the Abyss" for various reasons ranging from spending all of 3 minutes eating the entire cafeteria food services to trying to (and successfully) eat Alistar because Wukong had thought it would be funny to explain where Kog'maw's favorite food, beef, came from… Koggy had gotten himself into yet another situation with pantheon clinging to dear life at the edges of Koggy's mouth. Koggy had gone to get his food like everyone normally did when this giant talking loaf of bread was there at the counter, so he remembered his manners like Cho had been trying to teach him and gently put his plate down along with his silverware, calmly put on his eating bib and ever so slowly inserted the giant talking loaf of bread into his mouth and tried to swallow, only… the "loaf of bread" was actually pantheon and he was not getting eaten today! He was gonna hang with his best friend since birth/secret crush Leona! Spartans don't take no crap from never ending black holes of a voidling! After about a minute of struggling Pantheon realized he wasn't winning:

"HELP ME!? SERIOUSLY HE'S TRYING TO DIGEST ME! PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF SWEET MERCIFUL SOL SOMEONE SAVE ME!" Patheon screamed at the top of his lungs as koggy stood there with a confused look why his food was trying to get out of his mouth, he just wanted to fulfill his hunger and this giant thing that smelled like bread, tasted like bread, and looked kinda like bread seemed great for that job.

"Koggy don't feel so good-" Kog'maw said as pantheon kicked at his organs from inside his mouth triggering Koggy's _living artillery_ reactions, suddenly sending poor Pantheon straight through the ceiling and out of the IOW. Pantheon flew straight up a good few miles before gravity brought him back down to Runeterra at terminal velocity, Pantheon flew from his ult all the time anyways so that wasn't what scared him, what scared him was where he fell down was none other than Leona's house; a very confused and worried Leona present at the landing site.

Back at the IOW Koggy was being scolded by Cho'gath for trying to digest lovable Pantheon.

"-and of all things you didn't even finish your food! If your gonna go around eating EVERYTHING at least clean up afterwards!"

"But Koggy was hungry! and bread-man looked so tasty, Koggy was wrong tho bread-man tasted like dirt, sweat, and regret!" Koggy explained as the rest of the void gang showed up at the team table, Malzahar at the head of the table followed by Cho'Gath and Vel'Koz on either side with Kha'Zix and Kog'Maw on the other side of the table. Three tables away sat a lone Kassadin sat stalking his arch nemesis: Malzahar, who had tried to corrupt him with the void….

-Flashback time-

(sing along!)

_I can show you the void_

_dark, purple, murderous void!_

_Tell me, Kassy, now when did_

_You last let your heart decide?_

_I can open your eyes_

_Take you horror by horror_

_Over, sideways and under_

_On a magic carpet ride_

_A whole new void_

_A new demonic point of view_

_No one to tell us no_

_Or where to go_

_Or say we're only having a nightmare_

_A whole new void_

_A dark place I never knew_

_But when I'm way up here_

_It's crystal clear_

_that now I'm in a whole new void with you_

_Now I'm in a whole new void with you_

_Unbelievable sights_

_Indescribable feeling_

_Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling_

_Through an endless deathtrap from an endless hell_

_A whole new void_

_Don't you dare close your eyes_

_A hundred thousand things to see_

_Hold your breath - it gets better_

_I'm like a shooting star_

_I've come so far_

_I can't go back to where I used to be_

_A whole new void_

_Every turn a surprise_

_With new horizons to pursue_

_Every moment gets better_

_I'll chase them anywhere_

_There's time to spare_

_Let me share this whole new void with you_

_A whole new void_

_A whole new void_

_That's where we'll be_

_That's where we'll be_

_A thrilling chase_

_A demonic place_

_For you and me _

"say Kassy,... When'd you get so blue?" Malzahar said as he vomited purple rainbows from his mouth like it was normal.

"Malzahar" Kassadin said in a monotone voice

"yessssssssssssss :3 " Malzahar said cupping his hands and tilting his head all sweet like.

"go die in a hole" Kassadin said as he got up and rift walked out of the void leaving a heart broken Malzahar crying to himself on a magic carpet.

-end of flashback-

Malzahar shed a single tear at the memory of what could've been, and proceeded to ignore Kassadin's gaze at the group.

"ok ok that's enough scolding poor Koggy you all hear? He's learned his lesson right Koggy?" Malzahar said as he looked around the table before raising a toast.

"To the void, may the invasion succeed" They all chanted together as they clinked glasses, before finishing their meals and going their separate ways for the day, they had twelve hours of daylight before having to report to the void section of the IOW what could go wrong in twelve hours? right?...

In the corner of the cafeteria sat a lonely fish creature wielding his trusty trident, he was left out of all the tables because no one liked him and his tricks, he had been watching - no more longing for companionship from others - he knew just the table to join… now all he needed was some purple paint….

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Thank you all for reading this pilot chapter, I will be continuing this series at my leisure so don't expect a constant stream as I do these at school during study halls, please if you have suggestions feel free to PM me or write them in the reviews thank you all again for your time hope you enjoyed

P.S. anyone who wants to play some games with me on League just PM me I'll make some room, I always need more gaming buds :P


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: A walk in the Park

Hello all again :D welcome back to my second installment... I kinda have like half of the story on here already just waiting to release it so u all have to wait for the cliff hangers (that I don't have) to make you cry!

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Kha'Zix was always a loner, -I mean he is a alien Apex predator hunting all in its way- He never really made friends, he was however well loved by his fellow champions for his prowess and skills and he was welcome among many groups but… he never had a real friend outside the void gang. That is until he met a lonely spider, a spider pushed away similar to himself. She was a quiet creature which was odd to Kha, most of these meat bags were loud and social and she was like one of them half the time anyways what was stopping her from being like the rest of them? To Kha she was like a traffic cone in a forest, not in a bad way but like out of place, like she didn't belong in this time period and place - which for Kha was a little hard to handle seeing as he knows very little of the culture here in valoran aside from what Vel'Koz has talked about with Cho'Gath so many times. As he made his way out of the main building of the IOW towards the outer gardens when he spotted her walking along the trees, she was in her human form holding a bouquet of various flowers. She seemed to be headed to the "graveyard" as Mordekaiser had explained it to him a while back:

-Flashback time!-

"_well… a Graveyard is a place for the dead, where these humans and yordles go to place their dead and to go to mourn the lost" Mordekaiser had explained to his question._

"_but to what advantage do these 'Humans' gain from mourning the dead? wouldn't it be better to let it be?" Kha had asked, to him life was something to be learnt from, to adapt to, and evolve as to advance on its mistakes._

"_Its not so easy though... for us creatures, even I a lord of the unliving can grieve for what has happened, and its not for no reasoning, for us 'squishies' it has more depth to it; to lose someone you had loved is a horrible feeling that hurts more then the heart can feel or the brain can process, it hurts the very soul of your being, it can take away a bit of who you are inside like it did to me and to so many others"Morde replied, with a new emotion on his face showed up to Kha, sadness, sadness for his past mistakes many millennium ago._

-end of Flashback-

Kha'zix snapped back to reality as the one called "Elise" made the turn into the graveyard, so… Kha'zix did what came naturally to him: he followed and stalked his prey into the graveyard to learn more, maybe she would have an important trait he could assimilate asides from the spider stuff.

"-Kenneth… you gave up everything for me-" Elise had said as she stood over a worn tombstone etched with a message that brought her pain every time she visited him on his birthday, August 18. The tomb belonged to a man lost to history of no real significance to anyone aside from Elise, He had never done anything big and flashy, he never fought any wars or won major battles, all he ever did was be the first person to ever show any kindness to Elise, he was the only one to listen to what she said or to show some humanity to the poor girl….

_To Elise: My greatest love, don't let me get between you and your future, live your life._

_I love you _

_Kenneth Black_

_1838 - 1867_

"what happened to him?" Kha'zix asked, startling Elise from her tears and making her jump. She turned around to address the creature that had followed her to the tomb of her long dead love, she was surprised it was Kha'zix of all people to follow her and to care about what she was up to.

"what-... well uh… raiders came to our village and impaled him after he had fought them off of me,... he saved me with his life, he … he was executed for me" Elise replied slowly, sniffling at the horror of a memory, a memory of watching him be guillotined for standing up for her

"he sacrificed himself for you?" Kha asked, tilting his head slightly as if not understanding the idea of sacrifice.

"yeah… He was the first person to ever give me the time of day or to defend me from others, he- he would walk me home every night *sniffle* and he'd tell me I was important- that I was here for a reason- that I would end up doing something important. He… we would sit in the gardens and talk about how beautiful the world was, like how the clouds made shapes and how the leaves on the trees would turn this beautiful shade of magenta in the fall- he would hold me close and comfort me when I was sad, he would spend the day doing anything to make me smile just for me… he would do anything for me" Elise started to elaborate, breaking down into a mess of crying and tears.

"-he … I loved him so much, I fell in love with him the second I met him… he was the greatest person I ever met… and they took him away from me, they took away everything I held dear to me" Elise said in a slur of sobs, she collapsed on the ground. Kha'zix could see the distress in her, he may not have understood mourning or even what "love" was… all he knew was Elise missed this person; she needed someone to comfort her in her time of need, even if it was a eight foot tall insect-mantis-alien thingy.

"-I -I … I miss him so much…" She cried out finally as Kha'zix tried to comfort her the best he could, they sat there for what seemed like forever, Kha holding her close protectively; and she felt something she hadn't felt in a very long time… she felt like she was completely safe, that nothing would hurt her in that moment.

"Thank you… Kha'zix" She finally said to him as he helped her up, she brushed herself off and then nervously brushed off Kha too.

"-uh um… sorry for all that" Elise said sheepishly holding her right arm.

"its fine… uh 'spider' I don't mind helping you at this moment, we have nothing against each other as of what I know asides from your precious DNA sequences that I could hope to assimilate to adapt to your various powers" Kha stated matter-of-factually like this was a totally normal statement… totally normal you know.

"yeah… I'll take that as a compliment so thanks" Elise said slightly bamboozled by his comment.

"meh... if I knew I might not have to assimilate so many humans- *summoning rings appear around Kha* oh… till next time we meet spider" Kha said as he was teleported to one of the battlefields of justice where he would go ripping champions limb by limb until he was unholy fed or he lost, as the cycle goes. Elise who now was truly alone again with her thoughts and worries, asides from the sudden feel of death from standing alone in a graveyard at around seven AM which being a Shadow Isle inhabitant didn't really bother her much- more of going home after a long time and realizing it kinda sucked.

"well Kenneth… I guess today I am gonna wander around the League all day, should be interesting" Elise said to the tombstone, leaving the graveyard behind in a haze of death and sorrow… yeah exactly like home.

* * *

nice touching chapter huh? felt like this story can't be like ALL jokes and fun, I gotta make some plot to it at least :D so if you get the chance all you totally busy people you (that's why you're reading my story here of all the productive things you could be doing) should leave a PM or a review to tell me some opinions so i can make this more enjoyable for you readers out there (yeah you 3 little shits I'm watching you- I mean don't pay attention to the red dot on your forehead or anything totally not- BANG!) next chapter out next time I go and take the 30 sec's of my life to upload it for you all (a long time I bet)

-Hunter


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: nothing like a good show ye old chap

Ello good chap's and turkeys who ready for some more bad parodies and spoofs of other people's ideas! woo!

* * *

Of all the Voidlings there was one know among the populace for some odd reasons, unlike his brethren he didn't assimilate intelligent creatures to learn more about the world, or adapt to everything he consumed, or just plainly eat everything in sight- no he had "taste" in his foods, he had style in how he would devour his foe or an evening cup of tea and when sipping tea and teaching his inferiors basic manners was too frail or time consuming he spent his time in a club if you will of the "Underrated Champions Anonymous Association" (UCAA=Team Battlecast as it was called to the more lesser beings of the worlds) here he co lead the organization with his robotic's man himself Victor, under them were the members of said organization meant to bring awareness to real power of steel: Urgot, Skarner, Kog'maw, Xerath, and Vel'koz.

"ok let this day's meeting begin" Victor vocalized with heavy stress on the words, a more Russian accent but with a little finesse.

"first order of business is our lack of play! Like guys why are some of us so far out of meta now!" Urgot screeched in a robotic blood curdling sound from your worst nightmares.

"yeah! like some of us are actually still extremely strong and totally playable!" Xerath said looking mildly annoyed.

"eh… I don't know Xera you can be beat down really fast by that Yasuo guy-" Skarner was saying as someone burst down the wall with a gust of wind sending dust everywhere, standing in the now sizable hole was Team Battlecasts arch nemesis and rival club: Team "got-dat-booty" consisting of Zed and Shen followed by Akali, Kennen, and Yasuo the newest member.

Zed: "Prepare for trouble!"

Shen: "Make it double!"

Akali: "To protect the world from devastation!"

Kennen: "To unite all peoples of all nations!"

Zed: "To denounce the evils of truth and love!"

Shen: "To extend our reach to the stars above!"

Zed!

Shen!

Akali!

Kennen!

Yasuo!

All: "Team GotDatBooty!, blast off faster than the speed of light!"

All: "Surrender now, or prepare to fight!"

Yasuo: "That's right!"

Victor: "shut the Fuck up dammit!"

Everyone went silent at Victor's outburst- regardless if everyone wanted to say it anyways.

"well… uh… that wasn't very nice robot guy-" Yasuo started to ask as he was abruptly cut off by a very, very, very, - like a walrus who just realized he can never look at his belly without stabbing himself mad- very, very mad.

"yeah well breaking my god damn living room wall isn't very nice is it!" Victor retorted now actually steaming with … well steam, hes steaming literal steam here guys.

"hmm… hey guys maybe we need to do that from the top again" Yasuo said totally not realizing behind him Victor had gotten out a very very large ION cannon and pointed it at Team GotDatBooty and had started charging it. The ninja's had noticed the cannon behind Yasuo but were petrified so they just stood there wide eyed trying to make Yasuo turn around to his doom.

"-ok a 1, a 2, a 3-" Yasuo started as he turned around again to start from the top he was greeted to a Death ray to the face… but, his instincts stepped in at the last moment before shear death, summoning a Wind Wall to try and block the ray. (Now… as most would think a wall of wind shouldn't really stop a beam of Ionized gases traveling at the speed of mach 5 with an electrical force of 200 GHz in a normal world this would simply ignore the wall and Ionize the air atoms to multiple millions of degrees C but this being what it is and me wanting to make this a LOT more interesting, I say "meh" why would I want to be realistic)

The beam contacted the wall and the worse possible outcome of this happened like it was any other day.

"Oh no…" was all that was said before all hell broke loose, the ray bounced off of the wall and burnt through the window overlooking the gardens. Down below Garen had just gotten up for his daily run when a beam of shear death hit him square in the chest turning Garen into a comical pile of ash.

"De...ma...cia…." Garen weakly said as Soraka and Sona ran to his aid with a stretcher to bring him to the imfarmy.

"well uh… I'm gonna go now… see you all later" Yasuo said sheepishly before taking his leave.

"... What… the… Fuck was that!?" Victor yelled as he face palmed as hard as he could as he realized he had forgotten about the summoner's restriction's to killing the champions (aside from the amount of upkeep some have *cough cough* they produce more fund's then they all consume and they you know… keep the peace). Victor casually walked into his bathroom to go take a "anger shit" as Cho had learned to call what the meat bags did when they were angry.

"anyone wanna get a coffee then?" Zed asked snapping out of that fiasco that was Victor's rage.

All: "yup"

* * *

Hello all my beautiful reader's you 3 how's your day :3

thank you all for the positive and slightly surprising amount of views on the previous chapters! As I have stated before that this story will have a very random upload dates consisting of when I feel uploading isn't as wasteful for my time then like actually writing the thing as a whole and doing artsy things, or like actually playing the game I making a fanfic for in the first place (dat bronze 3 provisionals doe) and more and more commonly playing some steam games I adore like "Super Hexagon" which is crazy hard and addicting (7 sec's from unlocking the second hyper mode T^T )

Now as of when I get around uploading this chapter it will mark a point where I can actually comment on your reviews in real time! Due to having a good portion of this done on my G-Drive from lonely study halls the first 3 chapter's have been all uploaded to before I could see the potential reviews, so as of chapter 4 I will leave a statement about whatever you all have said and current standings of my "who's your fav voidling" poll which I am using to mix up the order I do each voidling's chapter :D

Also these are tending to be roughly a 1200 words so expect that much roughly ~

(after I get the character introduction's done we can have a more "actually has a plot" and all shit :D


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: +10000% more tentacles

(still T rated _)

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Now of all the voidlings there was one who seem the most odd to you or I in the sense of some popular culture jokes involving a collection of islands with a history of industrializing in just 50 years - yes japan, I'm talking about japan - the voidling in question here then seem obvious in identity: Teemo "the spawn of satan" (I'm joking its Vel'koz) Vel'koz (the newest voidling). Of course by the almighty creator of the (relatively horrible server's) was created as a floating head (and total rip off of those matrix squids) covered in tentacles and can shoot lasers from it's eyeball ( = =' yeah… "japan" central), surprisingly was a rather chill creature similar with how Cho'gath would act to the summoner's aside from trying to "organic deconstruct" numerous champions and random farm animals (that poor, poor cow that will forever be remembered to have died as a costume for Vel'koz). Vel'koz also had a heart for stuffed animals and pajamas, along with harbinging the coming of impending doom via the voids unstoppable armies of destruction, long "walks" on the beach, fried chicken, the opera, and computer games he star's in (*cough cough*). Today was special, today he was not only going to meet up with his club: Team Battlecast, but he was going to go talk to Blitzcrank about his robot dating program so little Vel can make some friends (and meet genius so he can assimilate their brains).

(1 long morning involving the previous chapter later…)

"Beep boop how can I help you Super Hentai Squid?" stated Blitzcrank as he filled out the forms for todays dating service.

"hello Steam Golem, my names Vel'koz not super- never mind I don't care anymore… I'm here for your dating service to meet some new people so I can have creatures other than my brethren to waste the daylight with-" Vel had started, until Blitz interrupted him.

"This is a dating service not a friend finder, really boring Super Hentai Squid" Blitz said in his robotic voice that made it as if he had no feelings (because he didn't but it was nice to run simulations of if he did).

"-I know that robot, It seems like the best place to start after last time I asked if anyone would join me in a field day (~creation of that whole culture) it ended in a lot of crying, now Cho is mistaken for godzilla every time he goes to Earth for a snack" Vel'koz replied un-amused with the nickname he had earned from the robot.

"well whatever you want BEEP BOOP super hentai squid, right this way" Blitz said pointing to the dating room, today was gonna be a long day for poor Vel, a very long day.

(fast forwards through dating service)

~"so like the moon is like totally the best thing ever and like- are you even listening to me?!" *being stabbed*

~"is that a rocket in your pocket- oh yeah you don't have pockets…" *Teemo shows up and starts killing Vel*

~"so I said to him, what do you get when you add purple paint and me, fizz? The newest voidling!-" *Laser beam to the face*

~"Aliens"

~"why was 9 afraid of- dammit I mean 8- no wait was it 7? Ok I got this what did 8 say to 0-" *laser to the face*

~"ha ha! Just carry the 5 to the centromendomere and insert the xylem into the deltrex and we got us a brand new toaster! *thick russian accent* Good work here octopus-" *very angry laser to the face*

(ok back to real time scales)

Sitting at the dating table was none other than Veigar the evil mastermind of destruction and recently being… nice… ew, after he and Lulu had finally taken the incentive to go on a date they became a rather well known couple, Veigar had become less and less evil in his normal sense and was a more light hearted person now… with a huge temper but, can't be all perfect can you?

"..."

"..."

"Veigar?" Vel'koz asked

"Vel'koz?" Veigar asked

"what are you doing here, don't you have a girlfriend?"

"well, Lulu has made it her mission to get me 'friends' so apparently this dating service was perfect" Veigar grumbled mildly annoyed at this dating service gone wrong.

"ah, I feel you yordle… I'm here looking for people to goof around with when I'm not with the void gang" Vel'koz laughed (without a mouth but whatever your problem)

"..."

"..."

*crickets*

"wanna go get Morg and Kayle to fight?" Veigar asked after that dead silence.

"and afterwards go help jinx destroy Piltover?" Vel'koz replied with a devious grin (still no mouth but you can get the look right?)

"fuck yes!"

The proceeded to run out the door ready to spend the day destroying others day, this was the making of a beautiful friendship to come.

* * *

Hello my detestably horrible audience- who may or may not be also secretly dolphins… you bastards *cough cough* any who hope you enjoyed I am loving these views and reviews so helpful on what you all want me to put in here and etc :P no but shout out to you all for giving me your time.

next chapter we will look into the life of Malzahar and Kassadin more because I always felt those 2 would be something more then kinda sworn enemies and well I am appealing to everyone's interests here.

Peace out!

-Hunter

* * *

Announcement:

simple character and plan page for anyone who wants a direct plot setup for the future of the series

Main Character's

Cho - Kog - Kha - Vel - Malzahar

(also malzahar's voidlings)

Main groupings

the group ups that will be most common will be as follows:

Cho + Team Battlecast vs GotDatBooty (includes Vel and Kog) (comedy + friendship)

Kha + Elise (not really like a relationship pairing but my comfort/hurt side of the story)

Kog vs the world (pure comedy)

Vel + Veigar (adventure + comedy + action + explosions)

Malzahar + Kassadin (comedy pairing, on the order of star-crossed lovers)

Bonuses

also I plan to put special guest in the chapters these being the following:

Champs (recomme

Hello my debatably horrible audience- who may or may not be also secretly dolphins… you bastards *cough cough* anywho hope you enjoyed I am loving these views and reviews so helpful on what you all want me to put in here and etc :P no but shout out to you all for giving me your time.

next chapter we will look into the life of malzahar and kassadin more because I always felt those 2 would be something more then kinda sworn enemies and well I am appealing to everyone's interests here.

Peace out!

-Hunter


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: that was a little more than a carpet ride

(referencing the first chapter's spoof song moment)

Greetings earthlings, Hunter here and welcome back, today we finish the introductions! Then my devious plans will come to fruition and I can run all of these character's on my wonderful plans!

Also, as of after this chapter (which you would be reading now but I digress) You all should start naming locations and themes for each of the adventures, keyword "should" because its helpful for me to make a fun story for you and lets you the reader have an impact on the story which if you read a normal story like harry potter or etc it wouldn't be too determined by you.

* * *

Now as I had quickly mentioned before Malzahar has/had a thing with Kassadin, not like a full out love or anything too strong, he just had a desire to get closer to him; to maybe remove this whole "sworn enemies" thing one day.

Kassadin on the other hand wasn't really too interested in dealing with those Voidlings everyday, asides from them brutally murdering him he had more of the concern of the imminent invasion of the Void around the corner one of these days.

It was while thinking about why Kassadin hated him he figured it out, he could show him the good side of the Void and all would be well!

(flashback to the flashback in chapter 1)

"say Kassy,... When'd you get so blue?" Malzahar said as he vomited purple rainbows from his mouth like it was normal.

"Malzahar" Kassadin said in a monotone voice

"yessssssssssssss :3 " Malzahar said cupping his hands and tilting his head all sweet like.

"go die in a hole" Kassadin said as he got up and rift walked out of the void leaving a heart broken Malzahar crying to himself on a magic carpet.

-end of flashback-

This plan of his didn't go too well as he planned it but, this just made it his mission to convert Kassadin even more, now he was going to get Kassadin one way or another! Malzahar made his way to Kassadin's room to give it his all, by Satan all mighty he was gonna get that Harbinger with all he had

(outside Kassadin's dorm in the IOW)

"*knock knock*" Malzahar floated there hugging one of his many crabs, this one was nicknamed Gregory and was secretly his favorite.

"Kayle today is my day off so dont even try to get me to go play one of those matches!" Kassadin grumbled from inside, you could hear the TV on playing some comedy show in the background.

"uh… Kassadin?-" Malzahar began but the second he spoke Kassadin had rift walked to the door. He opened an ungodly amount of locks from his door and opened it wide open to glare at Malz, from what he could tell he was not particularly in a good mood today.

"What could you want prophet" Kassadin glared daggers into poor Malz, Gregory became protective of his master and chirped back at Kassadin in a agitated tone.

"well… I want to put us on even playing fields-" Malz had started only to almost have his head slammed in the door, if not for his quick hand to stop the door.

"*sigh* well I'm not gonna get rid of you am I? Just come in and sit down the sooner this is over the better" Kassadin complained with a under-the-mask-scolding as he let Malzahar bass by him into the living room, rifting into the kitchen to probably grab something to make himself less stressful. It was a relatively large living room for a IOW dorm, it was also surprisingly decorated in Ionian culture pieces.

"do you want anything prophet?" Kassadin asked from the kitchen, sounding as nice as Kassadin can be.

"sure, surprise me" Malzahar replied, he set himself down on Kassadin's couch and started petting Gregory again to the crab's pleasure.

"here you go prophet, one hot coffee for you and some Ionian spring tea for me" Kassadin handing over the coffee lounged on his side chair and unpaused the movie he had been watching, it showed some really big guy making fat-Mexican jokes about himself to an audience of humans from earth Malzahar assumed before turning to Kassadin to get down to business.

"Kassadin, I don't want to be enemies anymore-" Malz started trying to look as stern as possible but wavering when Kassadin cut him off as usual.

"-what do you want us to be then? What? Best friends?" Kassadin said never looking away from the movie.

"well I would think us getting along that much is a stretch honestly, I just want to remove all these hostilities" Malz said almost pleadingly to Kassadin who just sat there watching the show.

"remove all these hostilities? Malzahar… you want to invade my world with those monsters and destroy everything I had and will ever love- why would I not want to get rid of you?" Kassadin stared daggers into Malzahar's very soul with this one, even behind that mask of Kassadin's Malz still felt a tremble.

"I don't personally want to invade this world- My own home world, I just see the inevitable unfolding before us… There's no point in fighting it honestly, one day the rest will come and take this planet for their own… nothing either of us will stop that day" Malzahar stated matter-of-factually with a subtle hint of sadness for that future.

"you say this as if you know _When_ this will happen…" Kassadin turned off the TV and turned to Malz with a look like he had finally found what he was looking for.

"uh… well I… shit" Malzahar got very panicked now, not only had he put himself inside his arch nemesis home unprotected but he now was in a whole new world of trouble.

"You do know when… you know how to defeat those armies as well don't you?" Kassadin said getting up from his chair and blocking the path to the exit from Malz who now was beat red.

"Kassy please listen to me-" Malz pleaded as Kassadin circled closer to him, blade at the ready.

"I think you have some explaining to do, and I believe I have something to make you start talking" Kassadin was just about to get Malz to spill it as Kha'zix came back from his game and after searching for Malz for an hour ended up tracking his scent to Kassadin's room. Now what he saw when he walked In was mildly disturbing: On the floor was Malzahar magically chained to the ground, standing over him was Kassadin with a Book he had gotten from Thresh called "_how to justify the damned souls in 3 easy steps"_, in his other hand was a large rubber chicken that he was using to beat Malz senseless with, on the couch was Thresh with reading glasses and ethereal wine laughing as Malz cried for mercy. Next to Thresh floated Nocturne who was busy manipulating Malzahar's dreams into nightmares about _My little pony-apocalypse pony _as his body was brutally scarred. Fiddle was in there making origami sharp triangles to give Malz paper cuts and then pour lemonade on the wounds because why not do that too.

"Malz... what did Cho'gath say about bondage the last time you went and try to do this yourself, *sigh* I'll come back in a hour don't do anything too crazy guys-" Kha'zix said stumbling out of the room as Thresh hooked him.

"Oh no no bug, you are gonna help us here" Thresh chuckled manically, for the next few hours you could hear blood curdling screams… even Teemo the spawn of Satan was mildly scared.

"Malzahar-" Malzahar and Kha'zix were walking through the IOW after 3 long painful hours of the worse torture imaginable.

"not… another… word…" Malzahar grumbled back to Kha, Malzahar after all of that was now torn and tattered in every way imaginable - he he was covered in so many paper cuts and soaked to the bone with lemonade - And of all things he was way past his bedtime! How was he gonna get any beauty sleep! They arrived at the Void section of the IOW and opened the door to the main room to find the rest of the gang doing various things that giant alien monsters do in their spare time: _My little pony-apocalypse pony_ S6E9: _a day in the life of a humble squirrel - from mars - that is a zombie/ghost/bear_

"... what the fuck… is this shit?!" Malzahar yelled at the TV, Kha'zix on the other hand went wide eyed and jumped to the couch with the others who were also drooling over the ponies. To explain simply: Horses were a prized snack of all Voidlings so this show was the equivalent of your favorite food network show mixed with space pirates and zombies etc.

"You know what! fuck this I'm going to god damn bed, Fuck you guys" Malzahar sighed as he passed out on the floor in front of his room.

"whats his problem?" Cho finally asked after the show ended and he tucked Koggy in.

"Rubber chickens" Kha'zix replied, passing out himself….

* * *

nice conclusion for the intro's right? I had fun writing this part :D hope u enjoyed reading and as always: "keep it clean"


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: The spider will stalk her new found prey till she gets her meal

(totally too hard to understand who I'm talking about right?)

The morning rays shone through the window like any other day in Runeterra, the birds chirped with glee and excitement, the wind rustled the trees in a calming manner, all was in place like it should be. What was the matter then one may ask? what could be out of place of all the days that would be perfect for a story to describe? In the IOW there was a 'yard' similar to the gardens but not tended to like them, more of a wildlife zone outside the boundaries of the Institute's control for what it was mostly concerned for, a region to be at peace and not be bothered by anyone aside from the abundant game in the area and the Voidlings. It was here that the Voidlings got the majority of their free time where they could do as they pleased without bother by anyone - that is on a normal day. Today a spider had decided to take a walk in the forest while the Voidlings frolicked in the grass. Today this spider was on a mission to meet up with the alien mantis, after last time they had been around each other she couldn't stop asking why he of all champions would help her in her sorrows.

"Elise? What are you doing out here in the fields today?" Cho asked, he wasn't one for change when not needed so this sudden appearance spooked him.

"Oh… hiya Cho, I was looking for Kha'zix actually I uh… I had something to give back to him from earlier yesterday" Elise replied nervously, she didn't want to make enemies with the Voidlings if possible - if their prowess on the battlefield was any indicator of their ability then off the battlefield she could only fear the worst (cough cough unnerfed ult cough cough).

"He normally goes hunting in the woods at this time of day, something about fresh meat is the only meat *chuckles* if you need anything dear-y just ask we Voidlings do have some manners!" Cho joked to himself, This relieved Elise of her fears - maybe she should hang with these creatures more actually.

"thank you!" Elise responded and headed towards the woods, she passed Koggy who was head deep in dirt - he was quote: "I'M A WORMY LOOK AT MY TAIL!" - just adorable as always, Malzahar and Vel'koz were reading books in the shade - Malz: _how to convince a guy to forgive you for dummies_ and Vel: _how to slow cook Spartans in 3 easy steps_ - they both waved hello at her, Skarner was out here also playing dead… or was he actually dead… Elise didn't stay to find out, and just as she came to the forest she noticed a shuffling in the bushes.

"um… hello?" Elise asked defensively to the bush, taking a closer look she could see some books on the ground labeled: _how to get rid of pests for the everyday woman, what to do when you hate something, _and _murder in 7 steps made easy_.

"shhh" Kassadin said as he grabbed Elise and pulled her into the bush with him, He was in a trench coat and a large hat along with cargo pants all in bush camo. On the ground in the hollowed out bush was a map of the yard, a checklist with all the Voidlings including the crabs listed and pictures of all of them on the sides, a pair of high tech binoculars, duct tape, pencils, coffee, Kassadin's mask- Kassadin's mask? Elise quickly glanced at Kassadin's uncovered face

as he pulled down the hood to speak.

"Elise?! what the hell are you doing out here- did they hurt you! uh… Elise why are you staring at me like that?" Kassadin backed up slightly.

"Kass… when the hell did you get so good looking?! Why the hell do you wear that mask all the time you are fucking handsome as shit man" Elise drooled over his features before snapping out of it.

"... yeah anyways uh are you OK?" Kass replied slowly concerned that she may have gone crazy… again… for the 13th time this month….

"yeah I'm fine, I was about to go see Kha'zix to thank him-" Elise began as Kass V8 face-palmed.

"yup you're going crazy again" If Kass had been paying attention to his surroundings he may have noticed Kha'zix above the bush tilting his head in confusion. Kha shrugged and went camo for a closer look and crouched next to Kass.

"so uh… whatcha doing?" Kha asked going un-camo'd, Kass went wide eyed and jump as high as he could into the air grabbing everyone's attention immediately as he fell back down into the bush landing in Kha's 'hands' or the **not-scythe-hands-part** and began sucking his thumb and gently crying.

"... um… ok then" Kha replied bewildered, he gently rocked Kass to sleep and put him down on a soft spot of grass meeting Elise's gaze with a confused shrug.

"you know Kha… if you keep being so nice to people when they need it *giggles* you're gonna stop being taken as scary" Elise taunted then looking back at Kass deviously.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"we should give him over to Malz he will know what to do" Elise finally said, breaking the evil grin silence.

"works for me" replied hoping to Malz who was now looking over his book curiously along with Vel.

"You think he's been watching us this entire time?" Vel asked marking his page and putting it away (idk where but he did)

"yeah… probably" Malz replied as Kha jumped to him from the bush (gotta love non-nerfed jump).

"well here you go Malz, got you a present" Kha joked, jumping back to Elise. Malz stared at Kass's sleeping form with confusion for a sec before looking to Vel who did his best to shrug.

"well that's all settled then… so why are you out here spider? Out to go hunting for your younglings?" Kha asked, to him the natural reason was what he was here for.

"actually I was here to kind of, uh… thank you for the other day-" Elise nervously held her arm.

"when I deleted you on that game? I mean it was fast and painless but-" Kha almost started ranting but Elise piped in.

"no, when I was in the cemetery visiting Kenneth… you helped me through a hard time so I feel I owe you one way or another" Elise smiled sheepishly, she just willingly sold her soul to an alien creature that was a mere foot away from her… well shit. Kha'zix paused for a second now, being an alien and all Kha was not one to be good at human facial gestures but the glint he had in his features could only be read as a strange mix of confusion and uncertainty with what she may have meant, after being around Ahri and those other sex hungry humanoids who wouldn't be careful!

"um… what do you mean?" Kha asked taking a step back to check his surroundings, never can be too careful when dealing with spiders….

"you were nice to me, so I feel it is within my honor that I be nice to you" Elise beamed.

"oh… like comfort me back if I had some overwhelming personal problem?" Kha teased.

"yes… but, you won't be having one of those will you now *laughs lightly*, how about we spend some time together outside the fields sometime!" Elise flirted back, not sure to herself if she was actually flirting with him- he- it? the alien.

"hmm, what do you have in mind spider?"

"dinner at my place?"

"bring some game from my hunting's?"

"you drink wine? or what do you drink?"

"wines fine, I'm a fan of root beer floats tho"

"really? that's my favorite too! be over at 3pm tomorrow night"

"okay, see you then;… Elise?"

"yeah Kha'zix?"

"you uh… look nice today"

With that Kha'zix went camo and disappeared into the forest again, leaving a very red faced Elise to stabilize her own heartbeat back to normal by herself.

"he… called me by my name… hmm" Elise fluttered, this was special! He never called her by her name just spider or queen when he was in a match with her. After steadying herself, Elise headed back towards the IOW, so much to do, so little time to do it all….


	7. Special!

Fan Special

brought to you by 'void crabs - the only STD you should ever want infecting your personality'

"A Day in the Life of a Minion"

author notes

heyo thunder-thighs! (jking no offense anyone who may be suddenly offended)

Today as my gift to you all: [drum roll] A voidling crabs special! because why would I not involve the cutest of the voidlings creatures in my comedy major void story :D

this may or may not have an impact on the actual story leave a comment in the reviews if you want me to play this into the story or not, today's chapter is sponsored by the following:

Mundo corp: "SLURP- Shoes!"

Diana's moon ray spa: *bad jokes*

Team Battlecast and Team GotDatBooty: "when are we gonna get another chapter Hunter?-" "-shhh when I finish my Zed/Shen skit *cough cough* [its nearly done]"

also sponsored by the following friends and family who have added to my bad jokes:

N0xM3RCYxHD: "Hunter?" "yesssssssssssssssssssssssss" "what the fuck am I reading?" "your mom OH!" "..." "*smiles*" "*facepalms*" "love you too *smiles more*" "love you too now lets get back to playing league and my godly-ness" "*zoidberg sounds*"

Fisher: "Bro-" "shhh I hunting pussy cats" "... Hunter-" "shhh" "Hunter I have a Idea for you-" "shhh- wait oh ok" "do a Yasuo joke" "muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha"

Maryiah: "what is dat purple bug!" "thats Kha'zix" "and the black spider?" "thats Elise" "she looks like she doesn't get enough hugs from her mommy" "*breaks down laughing*"

Public Education: "do work" "niez" "come on you know you want to be productive with these study halls" "niez"

* * *

this is my like actual day on a normal basis… help me

also fair warning the chapter's are about to get more spaced out because end of school year and all so on, to compensate I'm gonna raise the minimum word limit from 1.1k to more around 2.5k +, this chapter is gonna be a possibly lengthy one so hold on to your fried shoes everyone we're going for a ride… song lyrics reference anyone? no? fine I hate you all too T^T

* * *

Of all the Void creatures and the few wannabes *cough cough* [fizz, nocturne, etc] The most widely unnoticed was 'void crabs'- Malzahar's personal crab army of OP AD scaling [I been playing that shit], leader of the sub group of Voidlings was 'Gregory' the smartest of the [uh… herd? group of crabs? what the hell are they called actually?- one sec googling… oh a 'cast' huh… guess that's why hollywood actors are so 'crabby' *drums* thank you thank you all I'll be here all week] 'Cast'. The second in charge was 'Jillian' the cutest and Gregory's secret crush [a crab needs love too _], followed by Alen, Frank, Dave, Kassy 3, Malcolm, Erin and Aaron and Auron, Bob, Steve, Timmy, Josè, Derek, Ryan, Nolen, Reginald III, and Xavier [the psychic one]. This 'cast' spent the majority of the time in Malzahar's room or with the other Voidlings in various group activities including the recent picnic or better known as 'The Panic' as it was nicknamed in the Journal of Justice [JOJ]

-Flashback Time-

In the background there is Bandle city on fire with explosions and mayhem on the loose, un on the hilltop where we find the entire Void gang sitting at a picnic enjoying themselves after a long day of 'harmlessly wandering Bandle city and taking in the sights'.

"so should we get going? I mean-" Vel'koz started to ask when he was shushed by everyone.

"shh, just enjoy your food while you got it…, tomorrow we are in for some serious-" Malzahar stated back when an explosion too close for comfort shook the picnic area.

"yeah… ok lets pack up"

-End of Flashback Time-

Today was special, Today was the day of Malzahar's trip to Bandle city to pay the cost for the mayhem that had ensued prior. The special thing about it all was that the Void gang had to all be present except the 'cast' due to them being quote: "mindless vermin" [the summoner who had stated this has not been heard from in a while, I mean how long can one go on 'Vacation'] As a result they were free to do as they pleased for the next 12 hours… what can go wrong with an army of crabs bent on having fun?

"everyone settle down todays meeting is about to begin" Gregory was behind a podium that was about 6 inches tall trying to gather his fellow crabs so they could hopefully organize an eventful day, to anyone but the crabs or the Voidlings they sounded something like this:

"chirp chirp… chirp chirp chirp! chirp chirp? chirp… chirp chirp chirp"

"ok good, so I brought you all here from your various activities today so we can [hopefully] plan out a group event[s]!" Gregory began.

"everyone come write a idea on this white board I 'borrowed' from 'mean-grumby-purple-wizard-guy, and then everyone make a vote on ideas" The whole cast came to the white board and did their best to write ideas down and then vote for others ideas.

-meanwhile in Ryze's 'rift education class'-

The room was naked and tossed around, on the wall where Ryze normally had a white board was a sticky note with the following:

I.O.U. Mr. Purple-Grumpy-Wizard-Guy

"... where the hell did my stuff go?!"

-back to Malzahar's room-

The board was a mess of barely literate Void runes and Valorian script all with the penmanship of a 3-year old.

"so uh… that backfired- wait this one has a credible vote here! Today we are gonna play Rift" Gregory and the gang scuttled out of the room and hurried to Summoner's Rift for some typical shenanigans, as they made their march out they scuttled by many well known summoners and champions including but not limited to:

Faker- they all chirped with excitement around him and gave him praise for being so good.

Morde and Sona- the duo were hand in hand on their way to the outer gardens to relax the day away with each other when the crabs scuttled by and said hello. They both bent down and pet the crabs and said their hellos both being able to understand the crabs due to telepathy [Morde learned from Sona].

Morgana at the Sinful Succulence- Morgana greeted the crabs and gave them a tray of cookies on the house.

-Summoner's Rift-

In a standard League match as you should know is comprised of 5 champions on either side with 4 abilities and 1 passive each, capable to hold 6 items and a trinket, farming minions for gold to gain more prowess. Today Effrem E. Doran (thats the shop keeper's name actually, or at least the old shop keeper) was greeted by a strange sight in front of his weapons/armor shop, in front of him was some of his long time friends from the cast of crabs Malz always had with him.

"ho ho! What do we have here Gregory, long time no see y'all… guess we'll need to get you set up today eyh? Hmm… ok I'm gonna upload some abilities for y'all to use, Grab a temporary item- anything you guys want even a Trinity and the normal stuff before you head on your lanes" EEDoran merely instructed the gang.

Gregory got a Hydra

Jillian bought a Gunblade

Dave grabbed a BT

Xavier nabbed a Frozen Mallet

and Derek obtained a BoRK

"Thanks Effrem! Ok so I'll take top, Jillian go mid, Dave and Xavier go bot, and that leaves jungle to Derek… play it safe till our abilities are updated" Gregory lead the team to their various lanes, they were playing on Blue today so Derek figured red would be a good start. Red buff to anyone who hasn't jungled before or is reading this randomly, is a roughly champion sized melee lizard with 2 caster lizards or ample strength, killing said lizard grants a temporary attack slow and burn effect. This is why jungler's, gap closing AD top laners, and ADC's like the buff.

"so uh… hiya Elder Lizard how are you today" Derek being typical Derek tried to start a conversation with his target.

"... uh boss did that crab try to talk to you?" The little lizard whispered into the Elders ear, all three of them were huddled together very confused by the 6 inch tall talking crab.

"um… I'm… I'm good how are you?" The Elder called back.

"Good! This is my first time on the Rift without our prophet- is that a campfire?!" Derek staggered with big eyes at the fire, he always was a Pyromaniac.

"Yeah.. its a small campfire… because we're a camp… fucking Summoner's" Elder glared at the sky.

"O_O campfire… you know what this means right?!" Derek had a look on his tiny crab face that would suck the soul from any manly man *cough cough, somewhere in the IOW Darius just wet his bed and then shat on it too*.

"... uh boss… he's scaring me-" The little lizard didn't have a chance what followed made the entire jungle tremble:

"Lets gather around the campfire

And sing our campfire song

Our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song

And if you don't think that we can sing it faster then you're wrong

But it'll help if you just sing along

Pam Pam Pam...

C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song

C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song

And if you don't think that we can sing it faster then you're wrong

But it'll help if you just sing along

C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song

*the jungle monster's running in horror* AHHHH!

Song! C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E...

Baron!

"..."

good

It'll help

It'll help

If you just sing along!

O Yea!"

From Top lane Gregory could hear the faint tone of Derek going on a murderous rampage, Turning back to his laning opponent Zed. From what Gregory could remember of Zed, he was a evil ninja who betrayed his brother and clan for shadow powers which he was using now to jump on his at lvl 3 - Gregory had to think quick all he had to his was a hydra for sustain, and adorableness; I mean there had to be something he could do to win this trade but what? Zed was a loner and grumpy all the time but why would he be so mad… his old group was Shen his brother, Kennen the fur ball of lightning, and - that was it!

"I BET AKALI LIKES YOU!" Gregory called out before curling up for the burst, just as Zed charged at Gregory and shadowed he heard this which resulted in a loss of all focus on his task leading to him to warp in front of Gregory and then fall face first on the ground behind him.

"Ow… *sighs* what do you mean?" Zed pulled himself up to look at Gregory trembling in fear, gently tapping him on the head to grab his attention.

"Uh- I-I-I'm sorry Mr. Zed sir! please don't hurt me-" Gregory still curled up.

"What do you mean Akali likes me?" Zed asked in a very monotone voice as always.

"well uh… I mean she is always looking longingly at you when you walk by her, like a long lost friend - a really close friend" Gregory uncurled slightly.

"hmm maybe you're right actually… ok Gregory lets both back and then not fight till you have your abilities, fair? In return after this game I'm gonna need your help with that akali issue" Zed offered his hand to help Gregory up.

"Deal, thanks Zed… you're not all that bad" Gregory took the help and recalled to base.

Mid lane was having some issues as well, Jillian had been having to fight non other than Diana. Jillian had never met Diana before this moment now, but at this moment she had an undying urge to rip her intestine out and strangle her with them… and that was after the first 3 jokes. Daina's Summoner was apparently a special case of stupid as she waltzed into Jillians tower randomly before he AFKed the game leaving poor Diana to be headbutted in the shins before a tower shot ripped her to pieces.

**FIRST BLOOD**

"I would feel bad for her… if she wasn't the most annoying champion I had met so far" Jillian sighed to herself as Lux showed up mid.

"OMFG YOU N00B KILLING A AFK SUCH A SHITTY PLAY" Lux's Summoner called out to Jillian before spamming laugh… that horrible laugh.

"... I spoke way too soon" Jillian with her left eye twitching walked over to Lux's Tower and casually ripped it from the ground before it shot a single blast and turned to Lux.

"HA YOU'RE A STUPID N00B, WALKING INTO TOWER-" Lux was hit with a 50 ton outer tower at about 70 miles per hour in the face.

**DOUBLE KILL**

Chat

Zed: "Gregory?"

Gregory: "yes?"

Zed: "your _girlfriend_ just threw a tower at Lux-"

**TRIPLE KILL**

Gregory: "Zed?!"

Zed: "*coughing up blood between being smashed by a 50 ton Tower* correction she threw one at me too"

Gregory: "ouch…"

Graves: "Tarnation! that Gal is F%$#ing Crazy-?!"

**QUADRA KILL**

Janna: "Graves! … well shit guess she put him in his place *drums*- AHHHHHHHH"

**PENTA KILL**

Gregory: "... holy… shit…

Bot Lane was slightly hectic for the rest of laning phase, with Dave and Xavier doing pretty decently. Dave realised shortly after Jillian's Penta Kill that his items always returned to him, so he figured he could probably just throw his BT at Graves and then it would return to be thrown again! Xavier just like smashing Graves face in with a hammer so… yeah.

* * *

10 minutes into the game EEDoran came back with good news for the gang, he had gone and set up their abilities like so:

Passive-_into the Void:_

_"Void Crabs are the Larva form of beasts better known as Cho'Gath"_

+1/3/5 stats* (+1/3/5 AD, AP, MS, AR, MR, AS) for every Voidling in a 2500 unit area - stacks 5 times (counts self)

+1/3/5 defenses for every spell castes in a 1000 unit area - stacks 10 times (counts self)

unit kills grant 10/20/30/40/50 hp and 2.5/5/7.5/10/12.5 mana

Q-_Axis:_

_"ohhh so thats what Vel'Koz got his Q from… huh"_

launches a slow moving skillshot that explodes into a 3 pronged projectile

80/100/120/140/160 magic damage per projectile

does 50% less damage to the same target per volley

15/12/9/6/3 sec CD

does not scale CDR, but CDR speeds up the projectiles:

main projectile: 300u/s up to 500u/s

secondary projectiles: 500u/s up to 750u/s

+.7 AD scaling

80/85/90/95/100 mana cost

W-_Relic:_

_"because the last thing these vermin could ever need was a shield- oh shit…"_

casts a shield on self for ONE of the following effect:

blocks 50/100/150/200/250 damage units (defenses do not come into effect) (+.3 AP scaling)

blocks **ONE** projectile (skillshot) and grants 50% AOE defense - last 5 seconds after cast, if no projectile intercepts, grants 50% rebate on mana cost

heals for 50/75/100/125/150 hp (+.5 AP scaling

65/70/75/80/85 mana cost

effect #1 acts if hit by AA

effect #2 acts first unless hit by AA

effect #3 acts on a second tapping of "W"

20/18/16/14/12 second CD

E-_Reverential tides:_

_"yeah maybe we are putting a little too much utility into these little fella's… LOL funny joke am I right?!"_

blinks 350/450/550/650/750 units when moving TOWARDS an ENEMY Champion

OR

grants +30% MS when moving AWAY from an ENEMY Champion

R-_Swarm_:

_"They act in swarms by the millions- catching otherworldly prey without remorse"_

consumes 100/200/300 mana and 2.5%/5%/7.5% of current hp to form a 1000 unit radius Buff:

all **HOSTILE** targets take 5%/10%/15%/20%/25% more damage from incoming sources (+1% per 50 bonus AD, +1% per 50 AP)

all **FRIENDLY** champions and projectiles (ranged AA, skillshots, etc) have their movement speed increased by 50%

all **FRIENDLY** units gain +30/40/50 stats* (+30/40/50 AD, AP, MS, AR, MR, AS)

150/125/100 sec CD

not effected by CDR

each second after cast consumes 25 mana up to a 20 second duration

can be canceled after 5 seconds

**THIS CONSUMES ALL ALLIED VOIDLINGS ****ULTIMATE'S**

* * *

Voidling gang: "... Jesus fucking Jarven..."

EEDoran: "I did good didn't I"

-fast forward to team fight at 22:12-

"ok gang lets do this!" Gregory cried out as he charged into the group, followed by the rest of the gang allowing them to pop their Ultimate all together to unleash a massive combo of abilities. Graves was burst'd before he could even state "Tar-nation", Janna followed soon after while Diana ran in to burst down Jillian and Dave. Gregory followed up by Deleting Lux while Xavier and Derek managed to peel for them. ending in Diana's explosive death which just left-... where was Zed?!

-meanwhile at Blue Nexus-

Zed had gotten the nexus down to 1 hp when they finally noticed he had pushed from top lanes outer tower to Nexus in about a minute.

"so yeah uh... GG Gregory and gang" Zed smirked as he gently flicked the Nexus for the 1 hp, causing a chain reaction detonating the Nexus and winning the game for purple team, maybe he would go ask Akali on a date after this beautiful victory-

**PURPLE TEAM HAS SURRENDERED 4 to 1**

_*everyone is teleported to the Post-game Room*_

"... *eye twitching*" Zed stood next to the exploded Blue nexus with a expression under his mask that would kill at sight.

"AND THAT'S FOR FUCKING MY MOTHER ZED!" Lux screamed from across the post-game room before storming out of the room leaving a very confused group of champions and voidlings.

Graves: "... *throws hands up into the air and walks out*"

Janna: "but-...we...-but-but-but-"

Diana: "fuck this shit I'm leaving... Gregory and Co. you all earned a free trip to my spa on the house c'ya later"

Gregory and Co: "*looks at each other and then back* WORTH!"

*Ryze storm's into the room, foaming at the mouth*: "I FUCKING FOUND YOU LITTLE FUCKERS!?"

Gregory and Co: (Vl_(O~O)_lV) (RUN!)

*insert crazy chasing scene here*

"did we lose him?-"

"HERE'S JONNY- I MEAN RYZE!"

"AHHH"

*insert more chasing here*

* * *

so ... yeah that happened... but as stated before if you all want this to impact the actual story put it in the reviews :D, and next chapter we will get back on track... maybe... just maybe :P

Bai!


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: "great minds think alike"

_Brought to you by Ryze Educational School for Scrubs - where you learn to not play League without your friends_

* * *

Vel'koz gently awoke to the peaceful sounds of of Malzahar snoring his dreams away covered in his Void crabs, Cho'gath was in the corner gently sleeping with his typical Gentleman skin, Kog'maw was curled up on his lap drooling acid through his newspaper, and Kha'zix was off hunting- there was a small thud in Kha'zix's room followed by some odd sounds. Now Vel'koz was a creature of knowledge, a being set on learning _everything_ so naturally spying on his brother was his first instinct. Peering through the crack in the doorway Vel'koz was intrigued to see Kha'zix _trying_ to read some books, which from the looks of it was not working out well.

Kha's room was a mess of paper, pencils, rulers, and movie taps on _how to make her interested in you._ Kha had first tried to eat the books and tapes, assuming that he could emulate the DNA... only to piece together that they had no DNA. He then proceeded to copy Cho by _reading it_ which ended in smacking the book against his face till it hurt. When that failed he tried to watch the taps and infomercials on the subject on hand, leading to a minor headache from the TV.

Vel'koz now watching Kha try to smack the words into his face again winced in pain, this was horribly painful to watch his brother in claws beat himself up over reading.

"Kha'zix?" Velkoz slowly pushed open the door and called for his sibling, this forced a yelp from Kha'zix as he jumped in surprise. ',=l

"*clears throat* uh... I... Hello um... Vel'koz..." Kha'zix if he could blush would be blushing like a cherry or like his upgraded ult but only his face. o_o

"Are you trying to read these uh... romance novels..." ',=/

"uh... well I was... um... yeah I was... doing research" o_o

"you have fall in love with a girl didn't you" ',=/

"yeah... I don't know what to do..." Y~Y

"who is she? Wait I know! Its Shyvana isn't it" ;3

"-did I just hear the name of my uh... best friend... who's a female... a really hot female... um yeah...-" Cho'gath called from the other room before curling up again.

"uh... no she's um a little too how do you say it? scaly?" ._.

"it's Nidalee!" ;3

"oh dark overlords *shivers* lets not get near her or even far away" o_o

"hmm... Anivia? She's a little ancient I would think but-"

"no, just no..."

"...Ahri?*shivers*"

"*shivers*"

"well that leaves Cass, Ori, Nami, Sorraka, Elise-"

"*fidgets*"

"... You like Elise? hmm not too bad brother not too bad"

"-Elise!" Cho'gath now busting into the room with Koggy in his claws.

"ok well I believe I speak for everyone here when I say we're here to help you get the girl brother!" Vel'koz voiced

"I'm in as well, Elise is in my Gentlemen's Club... you could join us and get closer to her through the club!" Cho said with joy

"burp" Koggy replied with a burp of enthusiasm

"AH MURDEROUS SPIDER WOMAN OF DOOM... you two make a perfect couple... im going back to sleep wake me when you need my or when kassadin does something to derail your plans" Malzahar hollered from the other room.

"chirp" the cast agreed in the prior statement

"thanks brothers, its nice to know you got my back"

* * *

-meanwhile-

"I feel a disturbance in the void... someone is planning something..." Kassadin said aloud while watching his favorite series _The Noxus Shore _just as the elimination round one started.

"NO! DONT VOTE URGOT OFF!" ... noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Viktor being the unfortunate cyborg he was had to be the room across from Kassadins dorm, and now with this 5 ft. hole in his wall right next to his door provided him zero, zip, n/a protection from Kassadins antics.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU OVER GROWN, SELF-CENTERED, EGOTISTICAL, LOUD MOUTH, BUBBLE BLOWING BABY-" Viktor burnt down Kassadins door to find him in nothing but his helmet and heart boxers.

"... you know what... I'm done, I'm taking a 3 month vacation! Fuck this place" Viktor walked back into his room grabbed his only suitcase, walked to the lobby, stole a suitcase full of mints before taking his one sticky note out and a pen he stole from the secretary, wrote "Be back in three months -Viktor" stuck it to the secretaries face and kicked down the front door. as he got to the very front of the IOW he turned around and flipped off the building before teleporting to his base in Piltover.

Everyone in the lobby had a look of minor confusion.

* * *

Cho, Kog, Vel, Kha, and Malzahar were all hiding in a rather large cardboard box that previously held Kat and Talons brand new 80" TV + gaming console + 20 boxes of Twinkies. They were hiding in this newly acquired box to spy on Elise so they could try to help Kha with his growing affection, Elise was in the graveyard like she normally was at this hour of the morning. She had set up a full scale picnic for herself and her dead lover Kenneth, if he was actually next to her this would be a completely normal thing, instead it was her with a peanut and jelly sandwich next to a grave stone.

"she looks kinda lonely" Kha stated

"does she do this like every morning?" Vel asked

"she said she came out here at least one day a week" Kha replied

"ouch... she needs someone more then I had thought" Malzahar winced

"spider lady look sad... spider lady need hug?" Koggy did his best to frown

"well what should we do? we can't leave her all alone like this" Kha asked

"hmm... she doesn't seem to have any real friendly friends..." Cho commented absently minded

"I got it! why don't we all just indight her into our gang, then she can have a bunch of friends via us, Kha can get closer to her, and koggy can give her a hug!" Vel acclaimed, leave it to a floating brain to figure out a 5 second answer...

while they agreed on their idea Elise was trying to figure out who could be hiding in a giant box 30 ft away from her, from all the shaking and muffled yelling it sounded like a few people were in there. Suddenly the box started to move in her direction until it was at the edge of her picnic blanket.

"uh... hello there?" Elise asked cautiously to the box

"*muffled whispering* uh... hiya Elise its us" Kha said as he lifted the box over his head so she could see them all.

"oh... why are you all in a box?- better question how do u all fit in that thing" Elise cocked a eyebrow at them while taking another bite of her food.

"um... it's a Void holiday today-" Malzahar spoke up

"your holiday is about hiding in a box?" Elise grinned at them

"well... its to celebrate the day we arrived on this world" Vel added in this time

"koggy don't remember hearing brothers say this- *muffled talking*" Koggy started but was shut up by cho's pincers around his mouth

"yeah... uh ok then guys *chuckling* well do you lot want some sandwiches I brought alot more then I needed for myself and uh... Kenneth here" Elise offered

"Thanks Elise!" They all said at the said time as they made their way around the blanket; Kha sat next to Elise to his and her awkward enjoyment, Cho sat with Koggy across from them, Malzahar and Vel taking the spots between them. They sat there for a while and conversed happily, talking about their lives, what it was like in the void, some of their crazy matches. Vel'koz left first, after reciving a pager from Viktor about some science experiment gone wrong and such. Then Malzahar left on a call from grand summoner Badger about their poker match. A short while after Malzahar left Kat and Talon found where their new items had gone and chased after the remaining lot, Cho resorting to using Koggy as a acid Gatling gun to keep the assassins at bay while Elise and Kha ran off into the woods before they could face the wraith of the blade masters. They ran till they couldn't hear any of them any more, then ran some more; finally coming across a clearing atop a large hill. From atop this hill you could see the outskirts of Demacia itself, in all of its gold and blue glory. The sun was setting over the far off golden city filling the sky with a beautiful hue of pinks and oranges as the sky started to reveal its stars and galaxies, one of the very first stars to expose itself was the star Sol of the Sol system, the star was famous for being home to one of the only known systems to hold life like Valorans after being discovered shortly after the Void gang had agreed to work with the IOW. It was said the planet had life almost identical to Valorans with the only real differences being Sol setting the west instead of the easy, a much more primitive version of humanity living on its plains and valleys, and having only one moon unlike the three vastly smaller satellites that circled Valoran.

"That star up there... that's the star Sol" Kha pointed out with his claw as the two sat peacefully on top of the hill watching the sun set.

"Sol?" Elise questioned, she never did pay enough attention to astronomy and science in general.

"Sol and the Sol system... it's the only other known inhabited system by life as you know it... they are a few decades behind Valoran but otherwise they are nearly the same as you" Kha replied never looking away from the star, Elise followed his gaze before turning to him again.

"other life on another planet... how far away is it?" Elise asked before looking back in its direction.

"not too far away... just far enough that your summoners could summon Taric, and the sand Brothers to this realm" Kha turned to her as he did the closest to a chuckle insectly possible.

"Taric, Nasus, and Renekton are all from that system? but they all seem so different" Elise turned to him as well before laughing at the thought of those three.

"they were summoned from different times to be fair, Taric is from a era closer to the present while the Brothers are from a much older civilization on the planet" Kha twitched his antenna in amusement

"I wasn't aware that our summoners could summon things from different times" Elise cocked an eyebrow at the mantis

"kinda, I don't know how they could myself, just another great mystery for someone to solve now isn't it" Kha said turning back to the last moments of the sunset, Elise doing the same for a moment before turning back to Kha as the last rays went out.

"thanks showing me this all Kha, we should be getting back" Elise said as she kissed Kha on the left mandible before turning back to the woods from which they came, stopping at the treeline to cock an eyebrow back at the silent mantis who was standing there motionless.

"you coming? Or am I gonna have to carry you like a baby!" Elise jived at Kha before sticking her tongue out at him and yelling back at him "Race you there!" before changing into her spider form for a head start.

Kha stood there another moment before his outermost layer of chitin dilated to his surrounding before jumping after her...

* * *

I hope you all love reading this chapter as much as I loved writing it :3

as usual if you find the time its always nice to have a review on mistakes/ideas/comments/etc it helps inspire me to write this stuff!

Summoner Badger is obviously a reference to HoneyBadgerDC, senpai notice me I want your reptilian babies

The Noxus Shore is a reference to a favorite comedy of mine on here by VilovesCaitlyn, update more plsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

next chapter we will follow someone else for the limelight (sorry gonna have to wait for more Kha and Elise)

-Pimp Daddy D aka deathbringer333 aka Hunter


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: "a poker game fit for literal kings"

brought to you by:

_[12:49] deathbringer333: ill probably be on my working on my story some more_

_need to make that poker game gone wrong_

_*sighs* oh the wonders of a trustly kog maw gatling gun_

_[12:50] WeAreWalrus: Poker game gone wrong? Scratch that._

brought to you in part also:

_VIktory Robotic Uprising Systems: an enterprise set on world domination- I mean peaceful robots for everyday use!_

also brought entirely by the works of Riot Games, because anyone who honestly for a second believed I work for Riot and/or made any part of League of Legends are on some crazy drugs... where can I get some of those! jk jk drugs are bad and I'd have a heart attack lol

...

ok fine to the actual story fuck you guys :P jk

* * *

As Malzahar made his way to the main meeting lobby 3B: Piltover halls he caught a glimmer of two bickering assassins as they ripped their room apart for a very important package they had just received and lost. Malzahar being involved in its disappearance quickly opted to take the much longer route to lobby 3B as to not get his throat ripped out; this in turn lead him to pass by the Ionian halls just as Shen locked up his room on his way to the very same poker game. (first annual) The Head Representative Poker Club game was a monthly poker get together held in one of the 11 out of 12 available lobby rooms (demacia, noxus, piltover, bandle city, bilgewater, Freljord, Ionia, Zaun, + shadow isle, Icathia = void territory, a lobby for others, and the Grand hall which is not available for use), the club houses all forms of poker but the most popular is Texas hold'em (I could do something fancy here and pretend Valoran came up with the same thing somehow and named it something else or even the same thing but we all know that's a lot of bullshit for one chapter).

"Ah Prophet it is how do I say... Enlightening to meet your presence of the hour, I sense in the balance that you and I will be on the same course shortly... speaker of end days" Shen stated in a monotone pattern as always, Malzahar couldn't ever understand if he was poking at a dislike for himself or for respect from the ninja.

"As too far well Eye of Twilight, Then I can greet on the mark... you are to be at our Poker game?" Malzahar shrugging aside some minor confusion replied in a similar tone.

"Ah... then this is not our fate to which we will cross just yet, I am on my way to displace a new plan by my former brother in armor zed... I have sensed he has formulated a plot for this evening-" Shen started to inform as Malzahar chuckled abruptly

"Zed is going to be at the poker game as well Shen... so I probably can guess what he is plotting in that case" Malzahar interrupted

"oh... well on this I can sense the wills edging me to your gathering Prophet, just one problem in this case... I have no idea how to play poker" Shen said with what normally would have been awkward confusion and shyness.

"you could just not actually play if it would be too much of a hassle to learn, but other wise its simple enough gambling" Malzahar replied with a soft chuckle as he teleported a book titled: _Twisted Fates guide to everything gambling Vol. 13 Texas Hold'em Poker _before tossing it to Shen as they walked to the lobby.

As they got to the lobby they were greeted by a wide host of other card game enthusiasts including but not limited to: J4, Swain, TF, Graves, GP, Teemo, Shyvana, Darius, Garen, Zed, Thresh, Caitlyn, Vi, Jayce, Tryndamere, Sejuani, Kayle, Morgana, and Malphite. This rag tag group were conversing and doing normal party stuff when Malzahar showed up, in which everyone greeting him and Shen with varying kindness.

* * *

**now before I continue here I should probably say that about 65% of these characters don't actually sound like they would play poker, I am specifically trying to break character here ok? good now back to my soon to be bad puns... **

* * *

with the arrival of Malzahar the poker games could begin, the group split up into five different games of four based on game limits and styles throughout the night:

_Vi vs Caitlyn vs Jayce vs Malphite = table **Boom ****headshot**_

_Darius vs Garen vs Tryndamere vs Sejuani = table** Spin2Win**_

_J4 vs Swain vs TF vs Graves = table **Fates Gamble**_

_Malzahar vs Teemo vs GP vs Shyvana = table **Scurvy Scoundrel **_

_Zed vs Shen vs Kayle vs Morgana = table **Night and Day**_

Grand Summoner Badger took the role as the official judge and/or adviser

At the stroke of midnight the games began with a fiery draw, Shyvana taking pot lead for round one on table_ **Scurvy Scoundrel **_while table _**Boom **__**headshot** _found themselves at a draw due to a royal flush being in the river, table _**Fates Gamble **_landed a heavy lead to TF - earning him some angry stares from his opponents. Table **_Night and Day_** took a slow start to explain all the rules for Shen while table **_Spin2Win_** immediately turned into a four way fist fight to Badgers Grief. After a short while of chaos Malphite flipped the table and left while hollering that the cards where just not Rock Solid enough, leaving behind a very damaged deck.

"Great! now our deck is ruined by the monolith of fat hands!-" Caitlyn tossed her hands up in the air with annoyance.

"Cupcake that's not very a little much for him... it... Malphite! and the Insult is unneeded here" Vi retorted with mild surprise to Caitlyn's reaction.

"Ladies please theirs enough of me to go around!-" Jayce piped in before being sucker punched in his groin "OOOooooOOOoOoch- my boys... that was unneeded Vi"

"Shut it Jayce" Caitlyn and Vi said in unison before turning their attention to table _**Fates** **Gamble**_

"Haha! another pot for Fates Moonshine deposit-" TF chucked as he collected his winnings for round four in a row.

"If I'll be a hot blooded rattle snake on a Texas BBQ for Chipmunks! You couldn't have had a AA (double ace), everyone had one ace themselves- you - you - dirty lying-Shit faced-dirt breathing-ketchup stained-leather skinned-cheater!" Graves stood up and trained his trusty shotgun on TF as the cheater Used his famous destiny to escape with the cash causing Graves to angrily chase after him down the hall shooting anything not moving.

"Holy Demacia! how could this scoundrel cheat us like this!" J4 commanded with his typical tone as everyone gave him a look like he was delusional for asking such a question "oh yeah... its TF nevermind fellow Poker fans resume your games in the name of everything Demacia!" earning a surprised and alert Garen to pipe up his salute to his nation:

* * *

**quick message from me... am I in any trouble for spoofing the National anthem like this O_o ... shit**

* * *

"HAIL DEMACIA! I WILL SING THY ANTHEM IN HONOR TO MY PRINCE!" Garen crossed his heart and summoned a Demacian flag from his anus before singing his anthem to everyone's continued grief:

_ Oh, say can you DEMACIATE by the DEMACIAN early light  
What so DEMACIANLY we DEMACIA'D at the twilight's last DEMACIA?  
Whose broad DEMACIA and bright DEMACIAN-MOMMY'S thru the DEMACIA'SIS fight,  
O'er the DEMACIA we watched were so DEMACIANLY streaming?  
And the DEMAICA GOLD glare, the ALL THAT IS DEMACIA bursting in air,  
Gave proof through the DEMCAIA that our PRINCE was still there.  
Oh, say does that PRINCE yet CHARM  
O'er the land of the DEMACIA and the home of the UN-NOXIAN-_

"Shut your uneducated mouth swine! I shall hail the great glory of my emperor Swain!" Darius yelled out to Garen and the fellow poker fans of the room as he took the flat face of his ax and swung Garen into J4's arms.

_Oh, say can you NOXUS by the NOXIAN early light  
What so NOXUSLY we NOXUS'D at the twilight's last NOXUS?  
Whose broad NOXUS and bright NOXUS-MOMMY'S thru the NOXUS'SIS fight,  
O'er the NOXUS we watched were so NOXUS streaming?  
And the NOXUS BLACK glare, the ALL THAT IS NOXUS bursting in air,  
Gave proof through the NOXUS that our EMPEROR was still there.  
Oh, say does that PRINCE yet CHARM  
O'er the land of the NOXUS and the home of the UN-DEMACIAN-  
_

"is that actually your anthem swain?" Kayle asked as everyone just stared in pain as Darius continued the rest of his song before splitting a table in half with Teemos head.

"no... our anthem is a little more- high class then the Demacian fecal matter that is their anthem" Swain replied staring daggers into J4

* * *

**yup I am probably in deep shit here... I mean I'm a patriotic american! don't hunt me down Y~Y**

* * *

"Look here your Over sized pigeon lover-" J4 started as Swain threw a crow at him and morphed into his bird form.

"Suck my 7 inch crow cock-" Swain yelled as he hurled crow after crow at J4 before being hushed by GP

"Lassies shut your piping scallywagers you swashbuckler baboons!"

"did he say what I think he said to them cupcake?" Vi asked caitlyn while she now sat in a reclining chair with popcorn

"yes- wait where did you get the chair and popcorn?" Caitlyn asked arms crossed

"I may have ran over to Ziggs room and 'borrowed it for a moment. hear take a seat cupcake ;D" Vi flirted to Caitlyn who just accepted it and laid herself across Vi's lap before stealing some popcorn for herself.

"oh cupcake I didn't mean use me as your seat but if that's what you wanted all along ;D" Vi flirted again to a blushing Caitlyn

Teemo opting to not take part in any of this planted a live mushroom and camo'd next to the action, resulting in Morgana to have mushroom goo all over her dress.

"Fucking dammit now my dress is stained!" Morgana said with rising furry as Kayle giggled at her

"not like you looked good before anyways" Morgana turned to Kayle and tackled her before trying to rip her eyes out, at that moment Ziggs burst into the room with crazy laughter.

"who took my chair! *hee haa hee* never mind bombs will fix everything!" Ziggs yelled at the group before unleashing all lobby hell, with that massive explosion of explosives everyone opted to just fight it out. Tryndamere and Sejuani bashing their weapons into each others face immediately, Caitlyn clinging to Vi for dear life earning her a chuckle from Vi, Zed and Shen looked in the direction of the commotion to some confusion.

"should we do something about that?" Zed asked as he dealt round 7 to Shen

"I sense only balance over their... so this card game will be more important, I must say I like this game" Shen replied as he won the round

"that's nice... we're still enemies though by the way" Zed said calmly as he placed his bets

J4 and Swain proceeded to bitch slap each other, Garen and Darius began to spin like tops, Jayce got up from the floor in time for Malzahar to land another nut shot for no real reason other then it was funny, and Shyvana decided she wanted to break some skulls as well so she changed into her dragon form, roared at the group, then jumped into the comical pile of angry fighting.

* * *

-meanwhile-

"good job Kog'maw! your acid is very effective against these chaps-" Cho'gath said as he sat the two angry assassins down on the picnic blanket and offered them sandwiches before hearing a rather loud roar by a dragon of interest.

"-MY LOVE NEEDS ME! Koggy I put you in charge of these two while I am away" Cho'gath said as he started to lumber in the direction of the sound, as he walked he stuffed as many sandwiches into his mouth as for him to grow to epic sizes.

"... Talon?" Kat Whispered to Talon who was tied up to her back as Koggy stared at the two of them blankly

"yes?" Talon asked back

"should we be concerned about Kog'maw?" Kat asked

"well he doesn't seem to bad right?" Talon said with a grin as Koggy changed facial impressions

"KOGGY THINK DAGGERS MAKE KOGGY A BLOW-FISH" Kat and Talon cried for help as Kog'maw tried to eat them whole

* * *

Back at the lobby everyone was in chaos still, Malzahar made his way over to the chair to hide with Vi and Caitlyn only to fine them making out like they are gonna die while Badger filmed the whole scene.

"Vi?- oh stop that you two we have pressing matters here!" Malzahar said as he pulled the two apart

"*clears throat and straightens self out* uh yes... you are right" Caitlyn said while blushing heavily, Vi did the same

"now if this ensures this building will collapse! we have to stop their fighting somehow before its too late-" Malzahar acclaimed before turning around to find the ceiling being ripped off, Cho'gath had grown to the size of the 3 floor building.

"RAWRRR Don't worry Shyvana I have come to save you!" Cho'gath screeched as he removed the roof and gently picked up the by comparison tiny Shyvana to hold safely in his arms as he scolded the hooligans.

"now stop this fighting! your going to bring the building down at this rate" Cho'gath scolded as he used his free appendages to separate everyone "and stop acting like barbarians... unless you are actually a barbarian!" Cho'gath got a annoyed look from Tryndamere and Sejuani before he corrected his comment, providing them to continue to bash in each others faces.

"thank you Cho'gath, I think I can say this is over so everyone go home, maybe take an angry shit for all I care! Cho'gath if you could drop me off In my room please" Malzahar spoke to everyone before having Cho lift him up with Shyvana back to the Icathia dorms.

"nice to meet you formally Shyvana" Malzahar shook Shyvana's now dragon paw before stepping down to his balcony from Cho's arm and waving them off, now home he went to the kitchen to make some hot coco after a long day or insane people/trees/hamsters/angels/jesters/elemental/and fish. At his counter as he heated his coco before being ready to go watch some Noxus shore reruns he was greeted by an unwelcome guest.

"welcome home Prophet, I've been awaiting your return" said a voice hidden to the shadows before Malzahar to turn to see who his guest was he was knocked out by a sphere of energy to the back, leaving nothing but his un-swirled hot coco in the microwave and a single slipper in front of his counter...

* * *

muahahahahahahaa cliff hangers,

yes yes ik "oh now u decide to put actual plots to the comedy people too? is this gonna turn into a drama!? do I like green eggs and ham?!" the answers to these questions will all be answered in the following chapter which is going to spot light Cho'gath and Shyvana! :3

shout out to the first fanfic I ever read on here (now deleted) by (now not active and deleted account last i heard) which was about Cho'gath and Shyvana, been a very long time sadly :/

also very long and challenging chapter, I haven't played poker in fucking ages XD I probably should have taken to a black jack set up instead like a special author had mentioned but meh... had half of this done when we talked about that lol

-hunter


End file.
